Beware when opening a door….

man opens door

A recent feminist study said the act of a man holding open a door for a woman is considered “benevolent sexism.”

Really?

I had no clue-always thought it was a simple gesture of manners and respect.

I was taught to be a gentleman by both my parents. 

Lesson my parents passed on to me covered basic manners, to say please and thank you, to be courteous, etc.

The consequences of not following these simple rules I knew would be swift and unpleasant.

I asked a friend of mine when was the last time he held open a door for a woman who he wasn’t related to or who he was with.

He said it had been 2 years ago and he remembered it vividly.

She looked right at him and asked if her arm looked broken.

While I have never had a woman tell me this, I have seen numerous women walk right through the door I had opened for them with no acknowledgment, no smile, a scowl on their face, often left feeling like a servant.

Interesting that when I hold a door open for a man, men always acknowledge the act with a “thank you”.

I suspect this phenomena of ignoring courtesy by so many women today, is true no matter what part of the country you live in.

True even in the well mannered South, though many of my friends would suggest it is a result of so many Northerners moving to the area.

Of course, there are many other occasions to say thank you.

The waiter who brings water to your table…say thank you. If someone asks how you are…thank them for asking, the clerk who bags your groceries…a thank you is appropriate…all pretty simple stuff.

I always like to throw in a “Your Welcome” if someone fails to acknowledge my simple gesture of courtesy, and the scowls really do come out then.

I  miss the “good old days” thank you. 

About jeb610

Taking one day at a time, and enjoying life in the heart of Dixie. People create their own questions because they are afraid to look straight. All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don’t sit looking at it – walk. There are two sides to every issue: one side is right and the other is wrong, but the middle is always evil.
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10 Responses to Beware when opening a door….

  1. Barneysday says:

    i couldn’t agree more!

  2. billgncs says:

    I still hold doors for those of the female persuasion – if someone asked me if it looked like her arm was broken, I might reply “No, would you like me to break it?” in a polite tone of course.

  3. kat54 says:

    I agree with you totally. I always am polite to people. I was raised the same as you, to be courteous to everyone. I feel it is becoming something else lost from our generation.

  4. kerbey says:

    I always say “thank you, sir,” when a man opens a door for me. I don’t think a week has passed in my life that a stranger hasn’t, so I am used to it but always grateful. I have taught my son to open doors for people as well, even if it is an older man or a person in a wheelchair. And I do this as well, too: “I always like to throw in a “Your Welcome” if someone fails to acknowledge my simple gesture of courtesy, and the scowls really do come out then.” I always tell the waiter thank you for everything, and it chaps my head when they can’t return a “you’re welcome.” “Uh-huh” is not the same thing. Or they’ll say “no problem,” which is better than nothing, but still odd. We frequent one restaurant several times a month with mediocre food for the sheer fact that their server, Victor, will always treat us like he is glad to see us, that he appreciates us, shakes our hand, and makes us feel like we deserve kind treatment. Of course, we reciprocate w/ a good tip.

    • jeb610 says:

      Kerbey,

      Good to hear there are still some women who will acknowledge and can appreciate common courtesies from someone without being offended. Seems a little “old school” to display these manners, and these social graces are probably dying away today.

      Glad to hear at least in your neck of the woods….it still is around.

  5. viefinale says:

    I live in the south and gentlemen holding open doors for me or lady friends in commonplace. Share a quick smile with them and a thank you and that is all there is to it. They usually seem pleased to earn a smile from a young lady, maybe that is why they are eager to be polite in the first place.

    I love manners. We are civilized people, not barbarians. We owe one another proper etiquette.

    You never know when a polite gesture might turn a stranger’s bad day into a better one.

    • jeb610 says:

      I also live in the South.

      And yes, there certainly seems more civility and manners in the American South.

      I still hold doors open, despite the increasing lack of appreciation of my etiquette.

      Someday there maybe a return to civility and manners.

      But I am afraid the politeness and manners of the past, may soon and one day be forever ‘Gone withe the Wind’ never to return again.

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